Swim
by Bearbutt
Summary: The team takes a trip to the beach. Post-Endgame angst with character studies and all that fun stuff. SuperMartian, TimCassie, Searrow, with mentions of Spitfire and one-sided Traught.


**Hey gang. Here's another in the same 'verse as Submarine. You don't necessarily have to read that one first, all you have to know is that Artemis and Kaldur are bangin'.**

**Do I ever write Dick as non-angsty? It's becoming a theme.**

**SURPRISE SECOND PERSON. It may slip into third at some parts by accident. I have no beta and can only catch so many errors.**

***Artemis's little quote about 'Any place that lets me drink tequila out of a Big Gulp' is based on a textfromlastnight. I don't know the public drinking laws of Hawaii.**

**Reviews give me super strength.**

**-B**

* * *

_Dip the toe in the ocean. Oh how it hardens and it numbs._

_And the rest of me is a version of man_

_built to collapse into crumbs_

_And if I hadn't come down_

_To the coast to disappear_

_I may have died in a land-slide_

_Of the rocks, the hopes and fears._

_Swim Until You Can't See Land - Frightened Rabbit_

* * *

It's J'onn's idea. You all need a break. Conner suggests Hawaii. A day at the beach.

Another beach day without Wally. You don't really want to go, but you wear your swim trunks under your jeans all the same. Bruce presses his nose to the crown of your hair. All you want to do is go to sleep and wake up in a world where your little brother and best friend are still alive.

The beach is unseasonably quiet. Perhaps it's because you're on one of the smaller islands. Perhaps Bruce pulled some strings. Tim is here with Cassie and Gar, but Barbara stayed at the Watchtower. She's slipped into the role of command like a well-worn glove. Good. You don't want it.

Big arms that smell like sun-baked leather surround you. Superboy is to be your babysitter then.

"Come on Kid, I'll buy you an ice cream." He says.

Conner's smile is like sunshine. You lap at a creamsicle while he buries you in the sand. Tim screams from the ocean and your body snaps into action.

Tim is stuck atop a green shark who is doing somersalts out of the water. Cassie roars with laughter from her surf board.

You turn to see Conner spitting out the grit you kicked into his face. Your creamsicle collects sand fleas at your feet.

M'gann is throwing stones into the ocean. You watch the wind whip at her hair and tug at her organic sarong. She's kept a brave face for the rest of you, but you know how deeply the grief cuts at her. Garfield swims up, a turtle and motions for them to go surfing. She turns to look at you and Conner. He shifts his head to the left. Even without telepathy they read each other like open books.

"Any state that allows me to drink tequila out of a big gulp cup is all right with me." You hear Artemis before you see her.

She's wearing a floaty green sundress and her hair in a loose braid. She and Kaldur went to get snacks (because even though Batman taught you to be always prepared...) He offers you a bag of Bugles that he then leaves with Conner. Kaldur sheds his T-shirt and drops it on the sand. He walks to the edge of the water and waits. For what, you aren't sure.

You focus on the pucker of Artemis's mouth around the drinking straw. The knit of her forehead and her tired eyes. You want to talk about Wally. You want to tell her how much you love her.

So of course she's avoiding you.

Conner crunches Bugles next to you. Artemis hands him her drink and steps out of her dress. She follows Kaldur to the ocean. They wade in and begin to walk the length of the beach.

You'd forgotten they used to do that. Just walk and talk.

For a moment you think you're in New England and thirteen years old. Wally will be here later and he'll eat more hotdogs than all of you combined. M'gann and Conner beat you and Kaldur at volleyball because they move like one person.

"I'm a coat rack." Conner says.

You look at him, covered in the others' things.

"More like a cupboard."

He cracks a smile.

* * *

The water sloshes around your bare thighs. It pulls at you, beckoning you back to the safe depths. Artemis's fingers anchor you to the land. She picks up stones and shells and stuffs them into her shorts pockets like Lady Ophelia. You two used to collect beach glass that Conner would turn into beaded necklaces. Perhaps it is a soothing activity.

Her loose hair leaves a wake in the ocean behind you. It's like a tail.

While you enjoy comfortable silence as much as the next man, you can tell she is ruminating.

"How are you doing?"

She sighs, "Frankly? I'm pissed off."

You wait for her to continue. Artemis needs a little time to get warmed up. When she's speaking. In battle and... other physical activities she is head first and ready to go.

"I was going to leave him." She stops walking. "I was leaving him for you and me, then he dies."

That taste in the back of your throat is jealousy and a bit of bile.

"You were with him when he died though."

"Yeah! I was trying to end it, but then he was like a goddamned puppy and we went home and I got to see Brucely... Twelve fucking hours later the world is ending and we're paired up in Paris. I didn't really get a chance to lead him into the 'Oh by the way, I don't want to be with you forever. In fact, I'm probably leaving tonight.' If I had, then I would have dumped him, then he would have died. Or maybe he'd be somewhere else and live. Or we'd all have died."

Her voice cracks. You rub at her arm.

"And now I'm stuck. I can't end things with him because there's no him to end it with. Being with you would be considered slutty and insensitive. You'd be labelled a 'rebound guy' and everyone would be constantly judging us. Calling you weak and me pathetic."

There are truths in her words. Everyone is watching her right now. M'gann and Conner have both her and Dick on 'danger watch' because it's easier than confronting their own grief.

They'll be great parents some day.

"I'm so angry I can't even feel sad. How fucking dare he love me and die? How could he leave us like this?"

She turns to you with such sad eyes it breaks your heart a little more.

"You miss him."

"Like an arm. Brucely keeps waiting at the door for him to come home. His-my (Our) bed still smells like his hair gel. His razer is on the edge of the sink." She chokes.

"I kept telling him to stop putting it there."

You pull her body to yours and wipe at her cheeks. Thick, hot tears pour down your own. She clings to you like a life raft. Her body tucks into yours so perfectly.

"We can't be together right now." You say.

"It's not fair. I love you."

"Then we'll wait until we're ready."

Artemis's kisses taste like tears and tequila. You take a chance on lightening the mood and push her back into the wave. She squawks and flails in the salt water. Stones and shells pour out of her pockets. She drags you down with her.

The two of you twist in the current like dancers. You want to pull her deeper under. Take her somewhere dark and safe. Artemis kicks at the waves with a bit of desperation. You release her and let her bob to the surface.

She has almost drowned before.

Perhaps moon and ocean are supposed to be a mere flirtation. A stirring of the tides.

Artemis pulls you up to float with her. She traces the lines of your expanded gills. Her fingers tickle. You grab her hand and bring the digits to your mouth. They're cool and salty. She moans a little and her legs brush yours beneath the water.

You kiss her because after this you won't be able to. You love her in all the ways you can for these few minutes.

Then it's over and you swim back to shore. Artemis makes a pile of rocks on the edge of the water and stares at it for a moment. You walk a few paces ahead of her. The reds and golds of the sunset remind you of Wally.

You need to mourn him too.

* * *

The crashing of waves is the perfect static to clear out the sounds of everyone's thoughts. You dunk your head under the water and feel the slits of gills carve themselves into your neck. Garfield dances around you, a minnow. Your fingers slip-slide along his scales. The dark shadow of your surfboard bobs overhead. You decide to rejoin the surface world.

Garfield joins you by crawling up onto the board as a hermit crab. He's humming a melancholy tune in his head. You follow his gaze and see Cassie and Tim sharing a bag of chips on the shore. Conner stands at the water's edge. He's calling out to you both. You aren't ready to go yet.

Maybe if you fit just enough fun into this day it'll even the score. Maybe compensating the love and laughter lost to the world, you'll make it better.

"Come on, Sis. I wanna have s'mores." Garfield is a boy again. You ruffle his hair and give your board the gentle nudge back to the sand.

The moon is rising. Kaldur and Artemis return from their walk a little sunburned and with a larger distance between them. You don't have to be an empath to see the guilt radiating off the two of them. Conner gives you a concerned look. You shake your head ever so slightly.

_"Leave it."_

_"If you're sure."_

The trip to Mars was an excrutiating eye-opener for the both of you. Conner at least has had a choice about telepathy on Earth, on Mars, he'd have strangers wandering through his head without so much as a greeting. The adjustment of just speaking to you is... not comforting yet, but it's easier to have private-public conversations.

Your body dries off almost immediately, though you feel the salt gather around your joints. It isn't a fully pleasant sensation.

Dick has a fire going and you watch its reflection dance on his sunglasses.

"It's night. Do you really need those?" Artemis says.

Dick looks like he's been punched because it's the first time she's directly addressed him in a month. He takes the sunglasses off. Garfield and Cassie lean forward in interest.

"Congrats. You've seen the final two inches of my face." He jokes.

"I knew you'd have blue eyes." Garfield whispers.

Conner picks him up and pulls him into a hug. Garfield's going through puberty and he'll likely be too cool for snuggles soon. She watches them make s'mores. She would move worlds for her boys. Take down Martian Sandworms with her bare hands if they asked.

Artemis hands her a piece of chocolate and a graham cracker. Despite their earlier distance, she leans against Kaldur's leg.

Cassie and Tim feed each other junk food and dare to dart pink tongues against curious fingers covered in chocolate and chip dust. Garfield has the sullen silence of a boy who feels replaced. He turns into a capuchin and chitters against Conner's hair.

Her Superboy looks at her with solemn eyes. He's thinking of the night when they first told stories around the fire. It's getting late and the kids probably have school.

"It's getting late and I'm pretty sure at least three of us have school tomorrow." Kaldur says.

Cassie groans, but stands to gather her things. Tim is much more fastidious about such things. You're pretty sure he folds his towel tight enough for military standards.

Conner dumps a bucket of sand on the burning logs. Kaldur adds water to make a slushy, gritty ash. You all gather your things.

Dick has the Big Gulp of tequila in one hand. He stands as if he is about to fall off the edge of something.

"A moment of silence for our fallen comrade."

And he douses the flames with the drink.

"Goodbye, Wally." Someone says.

"Dust to dust."

* * *

**"A moment of silence for our fallen comrade."**

**"Poor Wally."**

**-Young Justice, Infiltrator**


End file.
